my kids…in all honesty, some of the reasons for my anxiety. and yet...the reason I want to change and make our life better.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
moderate depressive episode.
I like the word episode as opposed to episodes…like a bad reality t.v. series with season after season of…episodes.
I was struggling really hard about 2 months ago. Like wanting to throw the laptop through the window, hard.
But, I am me. I can handle it. I don’t need help.
My version of handling it? I nearly lost my voice one day from screaming so hard.
Frustration, embarrassment. Anxiety, denial. Anger, guilt.
And the ever popular Pride, destruction.
(oh, how I hate my pride, but that is another post for another time.)
It all came to a head about 7 weeks ago…and again 4 weeks ago.
Now, I’m getting some help. And it is getting better.
I’m sure there will be occasional reruns, but hopefully the 'episode' will fade from sight and I can get on with my own, real, seasons of life.
I was struggling really hard about 2 months ago. Like wanting to throw the laptop through the window, hard.
But, I am me. I can handle it. I don’t need help.
My version of handling it? I nearly lost my voice one day from screaming so hard.
Frustration, embarrassment. Anxiety, denial. Anger, guilt.
And the ever popular Pride, destruction.
(oh, how I hate my pride, but that is another post for another time.)
It all came to a head about 7 weeks ago…and again 4 weeks ago.
Now, I’m getting some help. And it is getting better.
I’m sure there will be occasional reruns, but hopefully the 'episode' will fade from sight and I can get on with my own, real, seasons of life.
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