The blog has really fallen by the wayside...nearly a year since my last post. In that time, a lot has happened. Sydney is in kindergarten, Elijah is in a 3 year old preschool, Kezia's favorite phrase is "MINE!" Wayne has begun teaching Trinity U, a discipleship/training course he has been working to put into place for the past few years.
As for me, it's been a roller coaster. On the off chance anyone thinks otherwise, depression stinks. (I know everyone knows that, it's called sarcasism.) :) I think one of the things that makes it hard to cope with is that, on the exterior, everythingappears fine. You don't get a cast, or bandages or technicolored polka-dot rashes (if you have a technicolored polka dot rash, see a doctor, that sounds serious). I've mentioned it before, but life just goes on.
But I'm not here to talk about that.
I've been going to counseling with an amazing christian counselor. We recently talked about the Who I Am In Christ verses. I saw that I need to really hammer home the truth that I am complete in Christ, Colossians 2:9-10. These verses also talk about how Christ is the head.
I got to thinking in how whenever I try to live life on my own (very often), I'm really just acting like a zombie.
(as a side note, I have no idea why zombie stuff is so popular right now, but I find it disturbing.)
Then, having read Colosssians 2:10, I saw that I was not just a zombie, I was a headless zombie. I like to think everything is fine, but I'm bumping into walls and crashing around life.
I told wayne about the picture in my mind of living without Christ as the head being like a headless zombie crashing into things.
He said to me, "why are you walking around....you have no head."
DUH! and BRILLIANT!
Not sure why it is we think we even are capable of moving if we don't have a head! Seriously. Do we really think ourselves so capable that we can survive without a head. I hope you are following along. Several times in scripture, Christ is called the head of the body.
I'm thinking the best we got (when we try to live our life without Jesus as the head) is a foot twitch.
And somehow we convince ourselves that that twitch is life.
I'm only complete when Christ is the Head in my life. And if He is the head, boy will my life just be so much better. Not necessarily easier, but better. I can't think of the last time my hand has second-guessed a message the head sent it. If only complete surrender and submissionn to Jesus as head were so easy.