sydney's sidewalk drawing...elijah, sydney, daddy, mommy, kezia

Monday, January 17, 2011


Thursday we have our first doctor's appointment. 

I can confess...I am nervous.

I feel like there is this battle of ideas inside me. 

We could still miscarry the baby...
this appointment is around the same stage in the pregnancy as when we lost Corey. 
There are no guarentees. 
Don't dwell on the negative...enjoy the pregnancy...
while you have it.

It's not always easy,
I have to remind myself daily, that

He is LOVE

After losing Corey, the story of Job became very meaningful to me.  This song by Casting Crowns, Praise you in this Storm, really speaks to me. 
The opening line always hits me:
"I'd have thought by now, that You would have reached down,
and wiped our tears away. Stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say "Amen" and it's still rainning." 

When God allows trials in our lives, we can easily get discouraged and even frustrated.
Pain seems to us somehow contrary to what we "know" about God.
It somehow seems 'wrong' that God does not immediately right our pains and hurts...especially those we seem to suffer 'unjustly.'
Like Job's friends, we offer cut and dry answers based on our own understanding and perspective.

I want to be like Job...
at the end of it all, God revealed Himself to Job...
all-knowing, awesome and just. 

I hope that, whatever the outcome, I am able to praise God, trust Him and submit to His will.

Then Job replied to the LORD:

"I know that you can do anything, and no one can stop you.
You ask, `Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?' It is I. And I was talking about things I did not understand, things far too wonderful for me.
You said, `Listen and I will speak! I have some questions for you, and you must answer them.'
I had heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes.
I take back everything I said, and I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance."
job 42:1-6 (NLT)

1 comment:

  1. Jesus said, "Blessed are those that mourn, for they will be comforted".

    In my own painful grief, I've often been baffled at why I am blessed if I mourn... But this is the truth!
    I do know, that as we mourn, we get to know the Lord in a deeper way, it's raw and intimate even though it's painful.
    So, be blessed Naomi, and I pray this little one will grow strong and be blessed with a long life here with his/her family!